Confession Is Good For The Soul

The old priest says, “Cross your arms over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand and try saying things like ‘yes, I see,’ and ‘yes, go on,’ and ‘I understand.'”

The new priest, born and raised in Texas , is nervous about hearing confessions,
so he asks the older priest to sit in on his sessions.

The new priest hears a couple of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step
out of the confessional for a few suggestions.

The old priest says, “Cross your arms over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand and try saying things like ‘yes, I see,’ and ‘yes, go on,’ and ‘I understand.'”

The new priest crosses his arms, rubs his chin with one hand and repeats all the suggested remarks to the old priest.

The old priest says ,
“Now, don’t you think that’s a little better than slapping your knee and saying, “No sh__… what happened next!!”

Things That Make You Go HMMMMMM

Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table … everywhere!

I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed. What a beauty of
a bird feeder it is, as I filled it lovingly with seed. Within a week we had hundreds of birds
taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food.

But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table,
and next to the barbecue.

Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table … everywhere!

Then some of the birds turned mean. They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket. And others birds were boisterous and loud. They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food.

After a while, I couldn’t even sit on my own back porch anymore. So I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio.

Soon, the back yard was like it used to be … quiet, serene and no one demanding their
rights to a free meal.

Now let’s see ….

Our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care, and free education and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen.

Then the illegals (that is political incorrect to say, I know) came by the tens of thousands.
Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments that are housing five families; you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor; your child’s 2nd grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn’t speak English.

Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to ‘press one’ to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than ‘Old Glory’ are ! squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties.

Just in my humble opinion, but maybe it’s time for the government to take down the bird feeder.

“Success is not forever and failure isn’t fatal.”

Get clear in your mind what you expect from success:

“Success is not forever and failure isn’t fatal.” — Don Shula

“The biggest chance you can take is not taking a chance at all.” –Glen Sather

“A strong reputation leads to authority and influence. Authority and influence are the foundation of power.” –Brian Koslow

“Too many people miss the silver lining because they’re expecting gold.” –Maurice Setter

Get clear in your mind what you expect from success:

“Now that I’m here, where am I?” –Janis Joplin

“There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart’s desire. The other is to gain it.” –George Bernard Shaw

“The problems of victory are more agreeable than those of defeat, but they are no less difficult.” –Sir Winston Churchill

Knowledge is Power

Enthusiasm is one of the most powerful engines of success, when you do a thing, do it well with all your might… be active, be energetic, be enthusiastic and faithful and you will accomplish your objective.

Knowledge is Power or What a difference a Year Makes

Our seven-year-old daughter was thrilled when we took her to Disney World for the first time, and she headed straight for Space Mountain.

I worried that the roller coaster would be too scary for her, but she insisted.

To her delight, we rode it twice.

The next year we returned to the Magic Kingdom, and my daughter, now eight, again dragged me to Space Mountain.

As we stood in line, though, I could see her soberly studying the signs that warn about the ride’s speed.

“Dad,” she said, “I don’t think I want to go.”

I asked her why she would be nervous when she had enjoyed herself last time.

She replied, “This year, I can read.”
________________

Hard to fault a guy like Andrew Carnegie for his ability to separate the wheat from the chaff (or the steel from the slag, if you will). So keep your eyes–and mind–open and you can better evaluate, motivate, and compensate your team.
Here are some tips for managers who want to transform their crew into a high-quality powerhouse:

*Identify what it takes to produce a quality product.
*Develop a step-by-step formula for achieving that level of performance.
*Give your team feedback on how the “quality first” campaign is progressing.
*As your team attains goals–eliminates defects and increases quality–by all means reward them with public recognition, bonuses, time off, or some other incentive.
_________
Enthusiasm is one of the most powerful engines of success, when you do a thing, do it well with all your might… be active, be energetic, be enthusiastic and faithful and you will accomplish your objective.

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Whether you are for military action or against it, our young men and women overseas are fighting for us to defend your right to speak out. We all need to support them without reservation.

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people. Plus keep the warming to a minimal.

COLIN POWELL: Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

HANS BLIX : We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.

RALPH NADER: The chicken’s habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

RUSH LIMBAUGH: I don’t know why the chicken crossed the road, but I’ll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I’ll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I’m talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, The chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I’ve not been told!

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA HOWE: In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?

CAPTAIN KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook – and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
———————

Dennis Miller simplifies things a bit on the war issue…..

All the rhetoric on whether or not we should be at war against Iraq has got my insane little brain spinning like a roulette wheel. I enjoy reading opinions from both sides but I have detected a hint of confusion from some of you. As I was reading the paper recently, I was reminded of the best advice someone ever gave me. He told me about the KISS method (“keep it simple, stupid!) So, with this as a theme, I’d like to apply this theory for those who don’t quite get it. My hope is that we can simplify things a bit and recognize a few important facts. Here are 10 things to consider when voicing an opinion on this important issue:

1) Between President Bush and The Terrorist … The Terrorist are the bad guys.

2) If you have faith in the United Nations to do the right thing keep this in mind, they have Libya heading the committee on human rights and Iraq heading the global disarmament committee. They also allowed the Russian made weapons of war to be shipped to Iraqi soldiers in the Humanitarian shipments. Do you need me to explain any of this.

3) If you use Google search and type in “French military victories,” your reply will be “did you mean French military defeats?”

4) If your only anti-war slogan is “no war for oil,” sue your school district for allowing you to slip through the cracks and robbing you of the education you deserve. We have oil in Alaska enough for a 100 years – guess who won’t let us get it – Hillary and Obama and those leftest.

5) Bin Laden will not seek the United Nations approval before they try to kill us.

6) Despite common belief, Martin Sheen is not the president. He only played one so-so on TV.

7) Even if you are anti-war, you are still an “infidel!” and Bin Laden wants you dead, too.

8 ) If you believe in a “vast right-wing conspiracy” but not in the danger that Terrorist pose, quit hanging out with the global warming dudes.

9) We are trying to liberate them.

10) Whether you are for military action or against it, our young men and women overseas are fighting for us to defend your right to speak out. We all need to support them without reservation.
———————–

This Years Thinnest Books

21. HOW I SERVED MY COUNTRY by Jane Fonda
20. MY BEAUTY SECRETS by Hillary Clinton
19. HOW TO BUILD YOUR OWN AIRPLANE by John Denver
18. MY SUPER BOWL HIGHLIGHTS by Dan Marino
17. THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL by Hillary Clinton
16. MY LITTLE BOOK OF PERSONAL HYGIENE by Osama Bin Laden
15. THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD by Bill Gates
14. THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY by Dennis Rodman
13. MY WILD & CRAZY YEARS by Al Gore
12. AMELIA EARHART’S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC
11. AMERICA’S MOST POPULAR LAWYERS
10. DETROIT a Travel Guide
9. A COLLECTION of MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES by Dr. J. Kevorkian
8. EVERYTHING MEN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN
7. EVERYTHING WOMEN KNOW ABOUT MEN
6. ALL THE MEN I HAVE LOVED BEFORE by Ellen de Generes
5. MIKE TYSON’S GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
4. SPOTTED OWL RECIPES by the EPA
3. THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY
2 . MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS by O. J. Simpson
And the World’s Number One Thinnest Book ….
1. MY BOOK OF MORALS – by Bill Clinton/with introduction by The Rev. Jesse Jackson
Well smile and get on with your life.

UpLifts – The Weight Set

I don’t know how many times in my life I have overestimated my abilities, underestimated life, and wound up spiritually and emotionally pinned, out of breath, with the world on my chest.

A story from Glenn Rawson. One evening I was in the kitchen preparing dinner.

My son Jed approached me and started to say something. Then he stopped, grinned at me and said, “Nah, never mind.” And he turned and walked away, leaving me standing there wondering.

Well, a short time later, I heard this plaintive cry coming from the direction of the basement, “Dad!”

It was Jed. It didn’t sound too desperate, I was busy, so I ignored it.

A few seconds later it came again, “Dad!”

“What?” I hollered back.

There was no answer, so I went back to work.

A few seconds later, “Dad!”

There was a little more urgency in his voice now.

“What do you want?” I said.

There was no response. Then, a second or two later, it came again, “Dad!”

Now he was sounding desperate. This made no sense. So I went downstairs finally to see what was going on, and when I got to the bottom of the stairs, there was my son lying on his weight bench with a weighted barbell across his chest. His face was turning red. It didn’t take me long to figure out what had happened.

A few days before, he had approached me wanting to “max out on weight,” as he called it, which meant that he wanted to lift more than he’d ever done before. Now, I warned him not to do this.

So now here he was, pinned flat on his back, his face beat red, and unable to move. Sure enough, he had loaded up the bar, laid down on the bench and lifted it off, and down it had come, flat onto his chest! He was unable, try as he might, to get it back up.

Well, I could see that he was in no immediate danger. I started laughing.

“I ought to just leave you here,” I said.

“No!” he cried in desperation.

Now, since I had a captive audience, a figured that a teaching moment was in order. I asked him if he’d learned anything.

Emphatically he shook his head, ‘yes – ah, yes!’

Well, I took pity on him, and I lifted the weights off.

But you know, the more I thought about that, there is something about that experience that seems hauntingly familiar. I don’t know how many times in my life I have overestimated my abilities, underestimated life, and wound up spiritually and emotionally pinned, out of breath, with the world on my chest.

I am so grateful that I am God’s son. He lets me try, and has always come to my rescue when it was too much for me. And you know, I don’t ever remember Him laughing at me or threatening me as He set me free, but set me free He has always done.

Thanks to Glenn Rawson for his great insights to life – From his thoughts on November 1998.

Have You Been Taken?

“Never fail to give that which you have to someone who’s in need.”

You know, I wonder how many of us have ever felt that we have ever been taken, or swindled or misused by someone else? If perchance you have felt that way, or maybe you feel that way right now, would you consider the following story?

Many years ago there was a young mother who received a knock one morning at her door. When she opened the door, she found a large frightened looking man asking her for money.

“We have no money,” she said.

Persistently though, he pressed his demands insisting that she give him some money. Finally, he said, “I’m hungry. I would like to get something to eat.”

“Well,” the woman said, “If that’s the case, then I can help you.”

So off to the kitchen she went, and soon she returned with a small sack lunch prepared from her meager food supply. The man looked displeased as she gave him the lunch, but he took it and he left. Now, from the doorway she watched the man go down the lane to the main road. But as soon as he crossed the property line, he took the lunch and threw it over the fence into the bushes. The woman was angered as you can imagine by the ingratitude and the waste.

Now, about a week later, this same mother was interrupted again by another knock at her door. Upon opening it she discovered a tall raw-boned teenager making essentially the same request, “We need help; we’re hungry. Could you please give us some food or money?”

Remembering the previous experience, she quickly responded, “No! I’m sorry. I’m busy. I – I can’t help you today.”

Without a word of protest, the young man turned away. She watched him walk out the gate. And it was then that she noticed a wagon and a team of horses parked out front. In the wagon were a father, mother, and several children. As the young man swung up into the wagon, he looked back at her with a sorrowful pained expression. Pierced by that look, she hesitated, but it was too late. The team had moved out and the wagon was already down the lane.

Perhaps it was with a hint of pain and regret that ever after that, that dear mother would tell that story to her children and would close with this moral, “Never fail to give that which you have to someone who’s in need.”

I conclude from that: To refuse to love anyone again because once your love was rejected, or to refuse to trust anyone again because once your trust was broken, or to refuse to give anything that you have to anyone again because once your giving was abused – is to refuse to live. Life is a risk. It always has been. It’s all about loving, trusting, and giving of ourselves. Take it away and what do we have left? Nothing? We wither and die like an un-watered plant.

Adapted from Boyd K. Packer, Conference Report, April 1962

UpLifts – John’s Dream

The alarm clanged and John awoke. He was back in his world. “Ah!” he thought in relief. “It was only a dream!” And then it struck him, “or was it?”

True and pure love is a God-given and a God-ordained gift intended by Him to reach beyond the confines of our mortal experience. But as with most of God’s greatest gifts, it must be sought for. In 1964, Spencer W. Kimball shared the following story.

“So long as you both shall live.” John and Mary heard this as they were married by their Bishop. Relatives and friends exclaimed, “What a handsome promising couple!”

At the time, John and Mary had a knowledge that there was something greater, but they had time. Well, time passed. John became involved in community affairs. Mary grew more lovely as the responsibilities of a wife and mother enlarged her soul. Her love for John grew over time, and she began to realize that she wanted him – forever. But John said he was not religiously inclined, “Some day …”

One day on a canyon picnic, a drunk driver hit their car reducing both cars to junk, and leaving Mary and her precious daughter Alice mangled and lifeless. When John buried his two loved ones, it seemed as though a part of him was buried with them. Loneliness, emptiness, and pain overtook him. His days seemed so barren. No one knew how much he suffered – with those vacant places at his table. And though he threw himself into his work and his other children, still there was no respite. His first and last conscious thoughts each day were of his beloved Mary.

Then, one night there came a dream so vivid and so real, he would never forget it. He found himself in an unfamiliar world looking through a wide heavy open gate into a beautiful area in which the central figures were a woman and a little girl. A warm glow rose within him as he recognized Mary and Alice. Mary was more lovely than ever; her charm and beauty had been accentuated. She was heavenly and captivating.

They smiled and beckoned to him to join them, but John found himself unable to move. Then, it seemed imperceptible at first as though the huge gates began to close. Frantically, John tried to free himself and go to them, but he couldn’t – he couldn’t move. As the opening grew smaller and smaller, the look on Mary and Alice’s face became more anguished. They beckoned to him more earnestly. Oh, they wanted him to join them, and he wanted to join them, but he was powerless to move.

The doors were closing. He saw the look of terror register on Mary’s face as the door slowly closed. The click of the lock resounded like thunder in his sensitive ears, and he felt at that moment that he would give anything, everything, even life itself to see her again, to be with her again, to have her always with him.

The alarm clanged and John awoke. He was back in his world. “Ah!” he thought in relief. “It was only a dream!” And then it struck him, “or was it?” Do all you can in this life so you cannot be lost in the next.

UpLifts – Tenderizing

I’ve seen students, colleagues, and friends being beat up mercilessly by the trials and difficulties of life. Pounded and beaten, their heads bow and the tears course freely down their cheeks.

From the life of Glenn Rawson comes this great teaching story. Growing up on a ranch in southeastern Idaho, homegrown beef was an abundant part of our diet, and I liked it too. But, I remember that some of that beef was tougher than boiled owl. I don’t know how old I was, but I well remember walking in the house one day, and seeing my mother with this spiked steel mallet thing. She had a raw beefsteak sitting on the cutting board, and with that mallet she was just a-beating that steak for all she was worth. I remember, I asked her something like,

“Mom, what are you doing?”

Well, she explained to me that she was tenderizing the meat to make it easier to eat.

“Oh – well, okay, sounds good to me.”

All the years I was at home, I remember my petite little mother beating up beefsteaks.

Now, lately I have observed a similar phenomenon going on around me, especially at this time of the year. I’ve seen students, colleagues, and friends being beat up mercilessly by the trials and difficulties of life. Pounded and beaten, their heads bow and the tears course freely down their cheeks. They are being tenderized. My heart goes out to them, but now they are prepared for the refining and sanctifying fire of the Spirit of God, if they will open themselves to it and receive it.

I recall that when the Savior felt a great need for sustaining strength and guidance, He would often retire to the wilderness and pray.

For example, you’ll recall after His baptism, being filled with the spirit of God, Jesus went deep into the wilderness, and for forty days there among the wild beasts, He fasted, prayed, and prepared Himself for His glorious ministry.

On another occasion, on the eve of His calling of the twelve apostles, feeling the need for His father’s presence, The Master, “… went out into a mountain to pray, and continued all night in prayer to God.” (Luke 6:12)

And finally, who can forget that in the depth of the Master’s suffering in Gethsemane, He set the example for us all. In the seclusion and peace of a grove of olive trees, a place He often went to be alone, the weight of the world’s sins pressed down upon Him. He prostrated Himself upon the ground, “And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: …” (Luke 22:44)

And so should we. May the Lord bless you.

UpLifts – America’s King

… if I am not deceived in the knowledge of myself, you could not have found a person to whom your schemes are more disagreeable.

Here is a story from the life of General George Washington?

In May of 1782, after the American Revolution was over, while America still struggled with her newfound independence, a letter was received by General Washington. The letter was written by one of Washington’s officers, Colonel Lewis Nicola. It outlined the grievances of the soldiers at being yet unpaid for their services, and being underfed along with other things, and it detailed a plan which involved the General that would rectify the situation and solve the woes of the nation if only Washington would lend his support.

Well upon reading the letter, Washington was indignant, even outraged, and he wrote an immediate response saying, “Be assured, sir, no occurrence in the course of the war has given me more painful sensations than your information of there being such ideas existing in the army as you have expressed, and I must view them with abhorrence and reprehend with severity … if I am not deceived in the knowledge of myself, you could not have found a person to whom your schemes are more disagreeable. Let me conjure you, then, if you have any regard for your country, concern for yourself or posterity, or respect for me, to banish these thoughts from your mind and never communicate, as from yourself or anyone else, a sentiment of like nature.”

“I am, sir, George Washington,”

Since the first time I heard this story, I have stood in awe of the Father of our Country, because I believe his unwavering, even outraged response in this one instance changed the entire course of America’s future. You might ask, “What was it they were asking of him?” – To allow the military for the good of the country to install General Washington as ‘George the First’, the first king of America.

This research and teaching concept comes from the efforts of Glenn Rawson.