What Kids Say – Sometimes Are The Darnest Things

When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came
into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.
She said,”Mommy, you are getting fat!”

A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
Five minutes later…. “Da-ad….” “What?” “I’m thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?”
“No. You had your chance. Lights out.” Five minutes later:
“Da-aaaad…..” “WHAT?” “I’m THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water?”
“I told you NO!” If you ask again, I’ll have to spank you”.
Five minutes later…… “Daaaa-aaaad…..” “WHAT!”
“When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?”

An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally
asked him, “How do you expect to get into Heaven?”
The boy thought it over and said, “Well, I’ll run in and out and in and out and keep
slamming the door until St. Peter says, ‘For Heaven’s sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'”

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her
son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a
tremor in his voice, “Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?”
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. “I can’t dear,” she said. “I have to
sleep in Daddy’s room.”
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: “The big sissy.”

It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children’s
sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was
wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor
leaned over and said, “That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?”
The little girl replied, directly into the pastor’s clip-on
microphone, “Yes, and my Mom says it’s a bitch to iron.”

When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came
into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.
She said,”Mommy, you are getting fat!”
I replied, “Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy.”
“I know,” she replied, but what’s growing in your butt?”

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little
to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried
to warn the farmer. She read, “…. and so Chicken Little went up to the
farmer and said, “The sky is falling, the sky is falling!”
The teacher paused then asked the class, “And what do you think that farmer said?”
One little girl raised her hand and said, “I think he said: ‘Holy Cow! A
talking chicken!'” The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes

Have a great week.

Dedication and Determination

…life is but a weaving and what we weave we have to wear. I would like to share this one last thought by Swami Chinmayananda: Be a noble person in life. The tide of circumstances and the tussle of happenings may toss us hither and thither, may buffet us up and down, but stay noble in your thoughts and actions.

Dedication and Determination
By Gilbert Howe

Goodness is the only investment that never fails. — Henry David Thoreau

For one to understand and live a life of dedication and determination, one must be able to show goodness to their fellowmen. We all need to choose wisely and make the choices in our lives of the what we want to commit ourselves to and then become determined to make it happen. We have heard the phrase “do it now” and many more of the same type of thoughts; however, none of these great phrases can change lives unless we change our inner-self.

I find that nature is often our greatest teacher; we have learned industry from the ant and grace from the swan. However, the greatest lesson that nature has to offer is that of the bamboo tree.

For the first four years, the bamboo tree develops an effective root system underground, without growing more than a few inches above the ground. Then, in the fifth year, the bamboo tree grows 80 feet! Our personal life is very similar. We see people who achieve so much in what we might view as a very short time, without realizing the efforts that they have put in the past, to build firm foundations.

If we spend time investing in ourselves, learning patiently, we would be surprised at just how much we can grow. This is the action of taking real steps in our lives to learn the basics and get our roots solid. No great quotes or thoughts will make this happen, only action. This is your start to determination.

There is a legend in Ancient Greece; that a tourist, upon arriving in Athens, asked directions to Mount Olympus from Socrates. Socrates looked at him and told him to turn right and just take step after step until he reached his destination.

In life, there are very few things we can control. The only things that we can control, in fact, are our dreams, our goals and our ambitions.

It is essential to be rigid in our determination as well as flexible in approach. In order to succeed we must follow Socrates’ advice and stick to the path, not knowing how long or hard it is. But thus we have created a step in establishing our dedication to accomplishing the task

Just by consciously accepting that the destination is controllable but the journey is not, most of our problems will dissolve.

The Five Steps To Dedication: When Sir John Hunt stood at the foot of Mount Everest, he did not expect to reach its summit by some magic trick or in one giant leap. Hunt had mapped his climb by stages, one day at a time. Each day he ascended as high as he had planned for that day. The day Hillary and Tensing, of his climbing team, finally stepped up to the summit was the climax of many days, and the last step was the top one of many climbing steps.

What you are setting out to do may not be as spectacular or arduous as climbing Mount Everest, but you apply the same principles. There is no magic or sudden high-speed leap in time; no, it is you taking one step at a time.

Here are the five steps you must use to take your first steps.

1. Make Sure You Want It _ Really Want It
• Pinpoint your reasons for wanting it.
• Sell yourself on the importance each point.

2. Believe You Can Do It
• Put past failures behind you
• Build up your self esteem,

3. Take Just One Step At A Time
• Plan for just the next five minutes,
• Then the next hour, day, week etc.

4. Put Yourself On The Spot
• Make the decisions to overcome weakness and temptations,
• Tell another what you are doing.
• Write it down.
• Set deadlines.

5. Achieve Through Creating A Great Habit
• Make the change become a good habit by repetition.
• Watch the habit grow and you will become more determine to succeed.

This is the start to taking the steps in becoming dedicated to making your life a value to you and to others. You can now prove to yourself that you can develop the will power to do what you set your heart on doing. Remember when your life has determination others around you will see the difference and they, themselves, will become desirous to improve. One expression I have applied in my life is very simple but has been very meaningful for me. It is merely that life is but a weaving and what we weave we have to wear. I would like to share this one last thought by Swami Chinmayananda: Be a noble person in life. The tide of circumstances and the tussle of happenings may toss us hither and thither, may buffet us up and down, but stay noble in your thoughts and actions.

This will be a great week if you make it so.

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Ben Stein About God

Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says.

My confession:

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don’t feel threatened. I don’t feel discriminated against. That’s what they are: Christmas trees.

It doesn’t bother me a bit when people say, “Merry Christmas” to me. I don’t think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn’t bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu . If people want a creche, it’s just as fine with me, as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don’t like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don’t think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can’t find it in the Constitution, and I don’t like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica, but we aren’t allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that’s a sign that I’m getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it’s not funny, it’s intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham’s daughter was interviewed on the Early Show, and was asked “How could God let something like this happen?” (regarding Katrina). Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response.

She said, “I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we’ve been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?”

In light of recent events…terrorists attack, school shootings, etc., I think it started when Madeleine Murray O’Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) complained she didn’t want prayer in our schools, and we said OK.
Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn’t spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock’s son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he’s talking about. And we said OK.

Now we’re asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don’t know right from wrong, and why it doesn’t bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with “WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.”

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world’s going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send ‘jokes’ through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you’re not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

My Best Regards.
Honestly and respectfully,

Ben Stein

Airport Bathroom Etiquette! Or a Senator’s Bad Taste.

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
“Hi, how are you?”

This could happen to you.


I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from
the other stall saying: “Hi, how are you?”

I’m not the type to start a conversation in the
restroom but I don’t know what got into me, so
I answered, somewhat embarrassed,
“Doin’ just fine!”

And the other person says:
“So what are you up to?”

What kind of question is that? At that point,
I’m thinking this is too bizarre so I say:
“Uhhh, I’m like you, just traveling!”

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast
as I can when I hear another question.
“Can I come over?”

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but
I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation.
I tell them “No…….I’m a little busy right now!!!”

Then I hear the person say nervously…
“Listen, I’ll have to call you back. There’s an
idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions.

Be smart don’t use your phone when in the bathroom.


I’ve learned….

ENLIGHTENED PERSPECTIVE If you will take the time to read these. I promise you’ll come away with an enlightened perspective. The subjects covered affect us all on a daily basis!


If you will take the time to read these. I promise you’ll come away with an enlightened perspective. The subjects covered affect us all on a daily basis!


I’ve learned…. That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I’ve learned…. That when you’re in love, it shows.

I’ve learned…. That just one person saying to me, ‘You’ve made my day!’ makes my day.

I’ve learned…. That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

I’ve learned…. That being kind is more important than being right.

I’ve learned…. That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

I’ve learned…. That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.

I’ve learned…. That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

I’ve learned…. That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I’ve learned…. That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I’ve learned…. That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I’ve learned…. That we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.

I’ve learned…. That money doesn’t buy class.

I’ve learned…. That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I’ve learned… That under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I’ve learned…. That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I’ve learned…. That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I’ve learned…. That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I’ve learned…. That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I’ve learned…. That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I’ve learned…. That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I’ve learned… That life is tough, but I’m tougher.

I’ve learned…. That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I’ve learned…. That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I’ve learned…. That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away

I’ve learned…. That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I’ve learned…. That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I’ve learned…. That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you’re hooked for life.

I’ve learned…. That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.

I’ve learned…. That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.


Have a wonderful week.


View on Aging

Life is but a weaving and what you weave you have to wear —Floyd Weston

George Carlin’s View on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions. “How old are you?” “I’m four and a half!” You’re never thirty-six and a half. You’re four and a half, going on five! That’s the key.

You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. “How old are you?” “I’m gonna be 16!” You could be 13, but hey, you’re gonna be 16!

And then the greatest day of your life . . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . . . YOU BECOME 21, YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk. He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There’s no fun now, you’re just a sour-dumpling. What’s wrong? What’s changed? You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40.

Whoa! Put on the brakes, it’s all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 . . . and your dreams are gone. But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn’t think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60. You’ve built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it’s a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn’t end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; “I was JUST 92.”

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. “I’m 100 and a half!” May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!


1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay them.
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. “An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.” And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it’s family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Life is but a weaving and what you weave you have to wear —Floyd Weston

Have a great week and remember to take a deep breath.

gil howe

Do as you would be done by.

What lies in our power to do, lies in our power not to do. — Aristotle

Today’s Trivia: (scroll down for answer)

What was F-Troop?
Name one of the actors?

Thoughts Of Life
Reverence for God and sacred things is the chief characteristic of a great soul; little men may succeed, but without reverence they can never be great. — David O. McKay

Word Of The Day:

propitiate \proh-PIH-shee-ayt\ verb : to gain or regain the favor or goodwill of : appease, conciliate

Example sentence:
The locals invited some of the tourists to participate in a traditional ceremony in which offerings were made to propitiate the region’s deities.

Today’s Motivation:

The way to happiness:
Keep your heart free from hate.
Keep your mind free from worry.
Live simply, expect little, give much.
Fill your life with love.
Scatter sunshine.
Forget self, think of others.
Do as you would be done by.


“Nothing is worth more than this day.” –Goethe
“After all, tomorrow is another day.” –Scarlett O’Hara
“It is a sign of strength, not of weakness, to admit that you don’t know all the answers.” –John P. Lougbrane
Don’t turn away from unpleasantness:
“I believe half the unhappiness in life comes from people being afraid to go straight at things.” –William J. Lock
“The best way out of a problem is through it.”
“We cannot solve life’s problems except by solving them.” –M. Scott Peck

A Little Philosophy:


As a human being who breathes air on this planet you have certain God given rights. These are not things you have to earn or work for – they are “rights” that you have now. The more you exercise these rights, the better you will ultimately feel – and the better you feel, the higher your Personal Image!

Your rights include:

The right to be happy.
The right to enjoy peace of mind.
The right to be left alone.
The right to surround yourself with people.
The right to be free from all forms of abuse.
The right to be rich.
The right to be successful.
The right to enjoy functional relationships.
The right to say “yes.”
The right to say “no.”
The right to a life of enjoyment.
The right to be respected.
The right to be valued.
The right to be listened to.
The right to walk away.
The right to have a positive attitude.
The right to make ongoing improvements in your life.
The right to love.
The right to be loved.
The right to enjoy a successful career.
The right to improve your quality of life by improving someone else’s.

If you’re not enjoying these rights it’s because you either didn’t know you have them – or you’ve allowed someone to take them away from you. In the second instance – how long are you going to allow this to continue? You make choices.

A Little Humor:

When you have an “I hate my job day” try this:

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section. You will need to purchase a rectal thermometer made by “Johnson and Johnson”. Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the drapes, and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed during your therapy. Change to very comfortable clothing, and lie down on your bed. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Carefully place it on the bedside table so that it will not become chipped or broken. Take out the material that comes with the thermometer and read it. You will notice that in small print there is a statement. “Every rectal thermometer made by Johnson and Johnson is personally tested”. Now close your eyes and repeat out loud 5 times, “I am so glad I do not work for Quality Control at the Johnson and Johnson Company”

Have a nice day and remember, there is always someone with a worse job than yours.


F-Troop was a western TV comedy which had an inept captain and two crooked soldiers always trying to make a quick buck. Some of the actors included: Forest Tucker, Larry Stork, and Ken Barry.

What lies in our power to do, lies in our power not to do. — Aristotle